Is 'The Amazing Spiderman 2' Actually Bad?

Look, the short answer is yeah.

The long answer requires a little more context (and some No Way Home spoilers, so the 6 people that haven't seen that movie yet, you've been warned).

So the Amazing Spiderman movies are in a really strange spot. On one hand, you have Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone giving excellent performances, arguably some of the best special effects in any superhero movie at the time, and, in the case of the second film, quite possibly the best looking Spiderman suit ever put to screen. On the other hand, you have some of the worst characterizations of any Spiderman film, muddled stories that can't keep their focus on any individual plotline long enough for you to care, and, in the case of the first film, one of the WORST Spiderman suits ever put to screen.

Jeez, it looks like hard rubber, and the yellow eyes just don't look right. Anyway.

Right off the bat, let's get something important out of the way: Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker is not, in any way, the problem with these movies. The dude is a legit great actor with a ton of charisma, and I think 'No Way Home' has been a great reminder of this for a lot of people.

Unfortunately, that movie has also ignited a debate about whether or not the 'Amazing' films are really as bad as critics say, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the answer is yes. While the first one is largely inoffensive/just fine aside from the terrible suit, the second one is the worst kind of franchise-minded self indulgence I think I've seen from a modern superhero movie. I mean, there's a scene that's essentially a trailer for all of the bad guys to come (although I suppose I'll give it credit for showing more restraint than Batman V. Superman, which showed ACTUAL mini trailers for all of our upcoming superheroes right in the middle of the climax).

This isn't to say the second film doesn't have good qualities, however, so let's talk about those first.

- Andrew Garfield, as I said, has staggering charisma. He's so likeable it's almost easy to ignore the fact that his Spiderman continues to screw around in dangerous situations.

- The Spider-suit in the second film is so, so, so good.

- The special effects in this film are leagues ahead of other special effects at the time. The scene of Spidey swinging through the city near the beginning looks so good you almost forget how off-putting the films opening sequence is.

- The montage of Peter doing heroic stuff is the kinda stuff all superhero movies could use more of. Watching superheroes be super-heroes is pretty great. This should have taken up way more screen time. I think a lot of movies forget that superheroes aren't just beat-em-up action figures.

- Soundtrack is pretty good.

Ok enough of that, let's talk about the muddy stuff.

For starters (and this is the biggest thing), the plot of 'The Amazing Spiderman 2' is a goddam mess, and it's because this movie in particular is trying, and failing, to set up an entire Spiderman franchise that it just hasn't earned (it also doesn't help that these movies were made solely because Sony wanted to hold onto the rights for Spiderman, not because they wanted to make a good Spiderman series). We start the film with a flashback of Peter's parents doing spy stuff, which just goes absolutely nowhere and feels like it's from a different movie. We learn that Peter's dad made it so only someone "of his bloodline" could use the spiders at Oscorp for anything which, aside from being barely relevant to the plot of this movie, is also kinda stupid. Oh, and before we move on to the rest of the mess, let's discuss how Peter learns this information; After getting into a fight with his best friend (because Peter won't give him his blood which is...a whole thing), Peter angrily throws his graphing calculator, of all things, against the wall, which breaks open to reveal some subway tokens that I guess his dad hid in there? When used at an abandoned subway station, this opens up his dad's secret lab/exposition machine, which was somehow hidden under the subway tracks like some kind of shitty Batcave. The whole scene is unintentionally hilarious, eats up so much screen time, and in general just raises way more questions than it answers.

Concurrently, we have the plot about Peter and Gwen having an on again off again relationship, which builds up for the whole movie until she just dies at the end, and we never really see them being in love which is weird considering how much we're clearly supposed to care when she dies (but kudos to Garfield for selling the emotion of this so well otherwise it might almost be comedic). We also have the story of Harry Osborn, who appears out of nowhere in this movie, is very suddenly and very rapidly dying of a disease that took something like 40 years to kill his father, and is trying to get Spiderman's blood (not joking) to heal himself, but then ends up becoming the Green Goblin anyway once he gets it (and they really rush his transformation, like it takes up maybe 30 seconds of screen time between him being a normal guy and going full-on super villain, suit and all). We also have the story of Max Dillon, who becomes Electro after falling into a vat of electric eels that give him a makeover, and who I'm pretty sure is this movies main villain right up until he isn't because Spiderman BLOWS HIM UP, which is probably not something Spidey would do, for those keeping score. We ALSO also have the story of a corporate takeover at Oscorp, involving the aforementioned trailer for all of our future villains (including a blink and you miss it reference to Black Cat because this movie wasn't already overstuffed), which also happens to involve ANOTHER villain in Paul Giamatti's Mecha-Rhino (and what a waste of his talent that was).

Are you getting the idea yet? There's a LOT happening in this movie, and in case you're wondering, yes the movie DOES struggle to make any of it land. The plot is just too unwieldy, there's like three separate movies in this movie.

The other major issue I have, with both of these movies, is the characterization of Spiderman himself. Spiderman wants to help people, all people, even his villains if he can (there's a reason a superhero who has been able to go toe-to-toe with the Hulk pulls his punches when fighting criminals), and the writers of this movie...don't get that. I know a lot of critics before me have mentioned this, but it bears repeating; one of the first things we see Spidey do in this movie is mess around and tell jokes while the criminal he's joking with actively kills people with a truck. The first movie started this problem with Spiderman's quest for vengeance against Uncle Ben's killer, a story beat that we've seen before, except in that movie he doesn't learn a lesson from it. There is no "with great power..." moment because this Peter never really struggles with the consequences of using his powers selfishly. Uncle Ben's death isn't caused by negligence on Peter's part, it's because Ben leapt at a man's gun for seemingly no reason (no one was in danger), and I'm not even sure Peter actually catches the killer, I think he just abandons this after a few minutes of screen time. Likewise, the second film has him cracking jokes while people are being killed, and the first time he truly faces the consequences of being Spiderman, Gwen's death, his reaction is to quit being Spiderman. These movies fundamentally misunderstand how to convey to us that this Spiderman is a good person; there's clearly the INTENT for him to be learning lessons, there's the passing notion that he's lighthearted and helpful, but barely, if ever, are these conveyed to the audience in a way that makes them land correctly, there's always a caveat or a contradiction. It just feels like very little effort was put into the parts of this movie that wouldn't translate directly into sequel bait.

I think that may be all I have to say on this particular matter. As usual, I just had to say my piece when a movie starts making the rounds on the internet, and this was a big one for me, because I'm a huge Spiderman fan. This whole situation reminds of how, after the Star Wars sequels were released, people started pretending that the prequel trilogy was actually good which...no (and that's coming from someone who loves the prequel trilogy, they aren't good movies). I'm as happy as anyone else that 'Spiderman: No Way Home' brought Andrew Garfield into the spotlight again and reminded us that he could be really great as Spiderman, but let's not get carried away in praising these movies, otherwise Sony might go and release another low-effort cash in. We all deserve higher quality popcorn flicks, never forget that.

With great IP, there must also come great responsibility to not make low-effort guff just to avoid a rights dispute with Marvel.